Marriage is hard. Wow that's a depressing way to start a blog post right? I am already busting the Disney Princess Fairytale bubble version of marriage...sorry you can hashtag #reallife now. It's not BAD and marriage can be oh-so-awesome at times, especially if you are going into with the mindset of "we are a team, it can be hard sometimes....but if we communicate, work together and remember WHY we decided to get married, it'll work." I'm going to share a little something with you, a bit personal but I feel like it may be helpful to some...insert hashtag #relatable.
My husband (Jonathan) and I met 6 years ago. We had both just ended serious relationships....but we decided to make a go of dating, because heck why not?! But then reality happened...I'm not ashamed to admit it, but I became pregnant-Happy 21st Birthday right!? It was only right that we get married, we both came from Christian families and we both are Christians ourselves. So here we were...married barely knowing one another & with a new baby at 21. We were still "kids" ourselves!! I always heard "Marriage is Hard" I just didn't know HOW hard until I was living it everyday. It was rocky, it was tough and it was ugly at times...& just recently the "d" word was on our minds constantly. We loathed one another....we barely spoke and honestly we were happier when we were not together. WHOA...what!? We made a commitment before God and our families and here we were dishonoring that. I'm not saying that divorce is wrong-in some circumstances it's inevitable, but for us...divorcing because we weren't communicating enough is NOT an excuse. Once communication was bought into the equation....it was like the heavens opened up. It can work.
So without delving in further or stirring the pot to much I want to say these things from experience:
1. Communicate. For me it's tough, I hold everything inside and if you can picture a linen closet full of cardboard boxes with memories/emotions written on them...that's my life right there. It's so darn full and probably has some really tacky Christmas decorations shoved in there too.
2. Remember your a team. The saying "There's no I-in Team" totally applies here., well unless you can't spell and "team" becomes "tiem" but that's just incorrect. You work together-everyday to make your marriage last. Yes-every.single.day. It's a commitment-not "work" especially if you LOVE one another. Make decisions together, make time for one another and definitely support one another...it's not a race, but if it were a two legged race-you both need to cross the finish line.
3. Remember the "Why" when things get rough. There's always a "why"-a reason behind the story...if you remember that it truly does help. Like for me I remember how he could always make me laugh with family guy quotes AND he remembers everything I like (food, candy..you know the essentials) so when things start to get rough we remind ourselves "why".
Divorce happens....and it's a HUGE impact on your life and everyone's lives around you. Sometimes it cannot be helped and it's OK. Your still an amazing person and the best part? God STILL loves you! But if you can try and if you can make it turn around...love is worth fighting for. True love does exist if you work at it and trust in one another. You can read more with my other blog post here.